unclefather:

things people have yelled in a bath and body works store:

• “what the fuck is a eucalyptus” 
• “this smells like my grandma”
• “what the fuck does “wood” smell like”
• “this is bullshit i’m going home”

pirouette-off-the-fucking-handle:

a-kid-from-your-school:

Did you know on average the human body needs 8 positive touches a day to survive? This includes: hand shakes, a hand on the shoulder, a hug, a kiss. etc. So you people saying, people that are depressed are just upset because they don’t get attention, in a way, you’re right, when your body lacks positive touches it can stunt your growth and effect your mental and emotional development. Give a hug.

kyleehenke:

kyleehenke:

Oh my god my mom brought me an iced coffee when she picked me up from strength training and i was drinking it really fast cause i was so hot and sweaty but then we hit a bump in the road and it spilled aLL DOWN MY CLEAVAGE BUT IT FELT INCREDIBLE SO I MADE THIS LOUD SEXUAL MOAN AND MY MOM ALMOST CRASHED

holy shit you guys sure like my sexy near-death experiences

falconbrunch:

if youre good looking youve literally ruined my life

you’ve

lvysaur:

if u think i’m attractive u probably have the world’s lowest standards 

devourer-of-gods:

shade-shypervert:

askstrikertheskeletonhunter:

What if the real world could lag

Stop that. That’s terrifying.

disnerd:

do you ever wish you could just stop time for like a couple weeks so you could just sleep and do whatever you want and just get your shit together and then after that time would just start back up again and you wouldn’t have missed anything because you would just pick up where you left off

best-of-funny:

ilovemumfy:

cutiepie-cas:

consultingpianistinthetardis:

fantasticsteve:

damn-a-frica:

1612th:

breadandfire:

1612th:

hi

DO U NOT SUPPORT GAYS??????

what

idk man i think its pronounced gif

imagine how is touch the sky

Dammit, Moon Moon!

if this gets 500,000 notes my mom will buy me the thing

SUPERWHOLOCK thingy

X

wvyrv:

jesussbabymomma:

DOES ANYONE ELSE MAKE SCENARIOS IN THEIR HEAD OF THEM DATING SOMEONE AND HAVING THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP AND DOING CUTE COUPLE THINGS WITH THAT PERSON BECAUSE ME 24/7

😅😰 🙋

ejacutastic:

when guys talk about how gross periods are i just laugh because guys have a floppy piece of flesh that gets hard and that’s pretty fuckin weird, bucko

tyleroakley:

shouldertappingghosts:

If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.

Hey John. Do this.